Seven Days Of Maddness
by Kitten630
Summary: Aunt Viv is any childs' worse nightmare. Strict, posh, and horribly, horribly, CLASSY. Caramel is the niece of this deamon aunt, but her, Lifty, Shifty, and other friends, promise to make this the worse, and most hilarious seven days of her life.
1. Auntie Viv

**Hi world! If FanFiction was my child, I'd be the most neglectful person in history! ^^ **

**Okay, I thought I'd make a little gift for PennyTheFuckingWise, seeing as she's EPIC!!! Hope you enjoy, you charming little betch! ^^**

**Anyway, this idea hit me while listening to Rainbows n Stuff by Insane Clown Posse. This might be a oneshot, or several chappies. Depends on what you guys think. So, enjoy, m'kay? M'KAY?!?!**

A big, happy golden sun shone in the bright blue sky. Several HTFs skipped merrily here and there, others sat under trees, watching the day go by. Two green raccoons walking down the pale purple pavement (That's English for 'sidewalk' btw), minding their own business. Their names were Lifty and Shifty, the two twin kleptomaniacs who made everyone zip up their pockets whenever they were near.

"Okay Shifty, you won't guess this one! I spy something that's green, small-"

"It's me." Shifty cut in. Just as Lifty opened his mouth again, Shifty opened his.

"You're gonna say me, and a wild guess, it'll be me after that as well." Lifty stared at his fedora wearing brother.

"Okay, that's just creepy. How'd you do that?" Shifty sighed heavily at his brothers' stupidity.

"One, you're copying this off 'Finding Nemo', and two, we've been playing for four hours Lifty. FOUR HOURS!!!" Lifty just pouted.

"Huh, you're no fun." Most people expect twins to be best friends, exactly like each other. But with Lifty and Shifty- You smell that? It's BULLSHIT.

"You know for a town that brings the dead back to life, it sure is boring lately!" Lifty threw his arms in the air while he exclaimed this, receiving a nod from Shifty.

"Yeah, it's already 2:30pm, and the only guys who died were Cuddles and Toothy, how lame is that? And they didn't get catch fire this time, some retard ran them other!" Lifty blinked at his brother.

"Wasn't that us?"

"... Shut u- Hey look, a new kid!" Shifty pointed to an HTF with its back turned to them. From what they could see, it was wearing pink and a hat. It had a large purple and white raccoon tail, which blocked a lot of it's body. Shifty grabbed his brothers' arm.

"C'mon bro, chances are she'll have cash on her, and she won't even see us coming!" Lifty was hesitant.

"I dunno, there's something familiar about- Hey!" Before he knew it, Lifty was dragging him up to the unsuspecting animal, and grabbing her shoulders.

"Alright girly, give us ya loot, and no one gets hurt!" The raccoon girl seemed unfazed.

"Shifty, no matter how many times you do that, just face it, it's not gonna scare me." Came an English voice. She turned around, revealing that the mystery girl was actually an HTF named Caramel, a fairly new civilian to Happy Tree Town. But with her clothes, you couldn't blame the boys for not recognising her. Unlike the other HTFs, Caramel liked chaging her style. It was always something weird, either Hawaiian or gothic, with sky blue earings, a black chocker collar with a heart stone on it, braces and a large purple and white flower tucked behind one of her gargantuan ears. However today, she was dressed in a pink Victorian frock with red pump shoes, some cover up hid her black freckles, the fur on the side of her head was tied up with red bows, and a pink hat with a red bow in it was balanced on her head. The Victorian dress wasn't what worried the twins, however. She actually rather like Victorian clothing, what concerned them was the colour. If you knew Caramel, you knew one thing for sure. She. Hated. Pink.

"... So, uh, Caramel. Nice look, never knew you were into prep." Lifty tried to compliment, only to receive a kick upon the shin.

"I HATE prep and you know it! My Aunt Viv is visiting, and she's driving me NUTS! She expects everything to be so posh and classy, and- ugh, _girly._ She's even started redecorating my room! IT'S BRIGHT PINK!!! And she threw away my tiki head and voodoo dolls, and my best net gloves." She sunk her head into Lifty, who blush redder than Flakys' fur. "I loved those gloves." After several attempts to remove the clinging girl, Shifty swiped her hat.

"This is all pretty expensive stuff. If you don't want it, can we have it?" Lifty began to snicker.

"First Caramel goes prep, now you're going drag queen, next thing you know Mime's gonna be arrested for noise pollution!" Lifty earned himself another two kicks.

"Hey quit it! So, where is this demon aunt then?" Caramel pointed to a post office, where a grey squirrel was tapping her foot impatiently, glaring at Caramel. She was dressed in a red and orange ballroom gown, and held a Venetian mask to her face. She was taller than Caramel, and had a bothered look on her face. Briskly, she walked up to her niece.

"Dear child, you should know keeping your elders waiting is rude." Caramel hardly blinked.

"You got elders right, that's for sure." Lifty muttered under his breath. While Shifty sniggered, Caramel simply exploded with laughter.

"And pray tell who these two rapscallions are, dear child?" Viv sniffed.

"My two friends, Lifty and Shifty, Aunt Viv. And I'm bringing them back home for the afternoon." Vivs' eyes narrowed.

"You'll do no such thing! Now come, I'm taking you to get a manicure on those filthy things you call nails. Look at them, all overgrown and pointed!"

"I know, I'm trying to grow claws." Caramel said, dryly, only to be dragged even more harshly by the aunt from hell. Her eyes reverted back to Lifty and Shifty.

"Shed." She mouthed, and with that was pulled round the corner. Silence lingered in the air.

"Well, that was entertaining!" Lifty suddenly said, goofy grin implanted on his face. If looks could kill, Shifty then murdered his brother.

"Should we show up at the shed then?" Asked Lifty. Shifty let a sly smile spread across his face.

"Yeah. Knowing Caramel, chances are she's got some awesome hidden up her sleeve!" Lifty stared at him.

"But the dress she was wearing was sleeveless." Several seconds passes, before Shifty face palmed. Into Liftys' face, that was.

Many clocks chimed seven times, as the sun started to set, and the refreshing cool breeze that symbolised night times' approach ruffled the fur of many HTFs. The sky was now orange, slowly heading for dark blue, but still provided enough light to show the twins raccoons walking towards Caramels' house. It was built in a large oak tree, decorated with statues and potted plants. Looking through the window, you could just make out the shadows of adult HTFs, all dressed in either ballroom frocks or smart suits. The grass outside was cut perfectly, and even the flowers seemed to be in line. The only thing that didn't match any of the scenery, was a shed that lay slap band in the middle of the front garden. It was painted black with white Celtic patterns painted everywhere. There was a small window which had black net put on it, which had an awesome system to it. You couldn't look into the shed, but once inside, it was easy to see out. All this was set up, but no sign of a purple and white raccoon.

"HEY GUYS!!!" A creature pounced on top of the two, wrapping its' arms around them as they fell.

"Boys, I do believe d you just got GLOMPED!" Standing behind the two was none other than the one, the only Caramel! ^^ She has changed out of the ridiculous pink clothes, and now was wearing her usual red Hawaiian dress with the white flowers and brown sandals, only this time with a black hoodie over the top.

"Caramel, will you PLEASE stop trying to give us heart attacks?" Shifty asked, while Lifty chuckled.

"And the crowd goes wild for Happy Tree Towns' top glomper! WOO HOO!" Shifty slpped him round the head, the had his wrist grabbed.

"Well it took you guys long enough to get here, now get into my shed already, we've got stuff to do!" Dragging them into the gothic shed, she pushed them onto two large bean bags.

"Okay troops, listen up!" She stood in an army position, with her hands on her hips, chest stuck out.

"We have one week before Aunt Viv leaves to go back to Happy Tree Scotland, and during this week, we mu-"

"Wait, she's from HTS?" Shifty butted in. Caramels' arms drooped out of her army position.

"Uh, yeah, why?" Shiftys' eyes glinted.

"You never told us you had family in Scotland! I swear they have eight million castles, all with a museum containing lots of stuff! Expensive stuff." The grin on Shiftys' face twisted into an unimaginable shape, only to change into a screaming O as cold water was dumped on top of him.

"AHHH, COLD, COLD, COLD!!! Caramel, what the eff?!" Caramel just smiled sweetly at him, holding the now empty bucket of water.

"Me and Lifty thought of this a couple weeks ago. See, read the label." She held the container up to his face. It read, 'WARNING: Dump On Shifty If Lecture Is Suspected'.

"Hey, I wasn't gonna lecture!"Shifty protested.

"Actually, you totally were." Shifty stared at his blank faced brother.

"W-what?"

"It's so obvious when you're about to lecture, I've even made a little list of signs, see?" Lifty held a blue book full of notes to his face.

"TRAITOR!!! And where the hell did you keep that thing?"

"In my pocket."

"But you're one of the only Happy Tree Citizens who DOESN'T wear any clothes whatsoever!"

"CAN I CONTINUE?!" Both boys turned to their rather pissed looking female friend.

"Okay, as I was- Okay forget the damn script, bottom line. Aunt Viv is still here for seven days, and we will make those seven days the most random, weird, and defiantly UN-classy of her life! Got it?" Both boys nodded in unison.

"Great! Now that this is all out of the way, who wants to go get icecream?"

**Well, it's a little defiantly NOT a oneshot anymore! Now review and Caramel will treat us ALL to icecream! ^^**


	2. PedoBear

**Okay, I won't even bother saying 'next time I'll update sooner', cos I know I won't. DAMN YOU THE SURSE OF BEING LAZY, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!**

Small leaves flutered across the awakening town of Happy Tree Town. The sun peeked shyly from behind the mountains, letting his rays slowly paint the town a whole new colour. Soon, a golden rays reached Caramels' gothic shed, and danced through the window onto the awaiting raccoon boys. Shiftys' nose twitched and his eye flickered open.

"Hey sweet thing, you're awake." Shiftys' head span around so quickly it could've snapped, to see Lifty with the horniest look on his face, arm around his brother. Yelping, Shifty fell off the beanbag and onto the hard floor.

"LIFTY, WHAT THE HELL! Have you actually been LISTENING to our 'Incest' fangirls?" Lifty tried to keep his horny look, but the side of his mouth twitched.

"Oh Shifty, Shifty, Shifty. Surely you know by *snigger* S-Surely you know by- AHAHAHAHA!" Shifty was sorely tempted to kick his brother in the ribcage as he rolled on the floor, tears running from his eyes as he laughed. After roughly ten minutes, Lifty finally sat up.

"Okay, okay, I'm done." Shifty sat there stony faced.

"Lifty, how many times have we talked about this? We never listen to those fangirls, they're- GAAAH, COLDCOLDCOLD!" Water met Shifty, sending Lifty into another fit of hysterical laughter. Shifty turned slowly, to see Caramel, smiling, looking as innocent as ever, a bucket held in her paws. Today she was wearing her usual dress with a leaf pattern, but it was purple, and her usual brown sandles.

"Caramel..."

"Hey, it's not my fault! This is incase you begin to lecture, we can't help that." Lifty would've backed her up, but right now was wondering if it was possible to die from laughter.

"Look, we have roughly three hours before anyone aside my sister wakes up in my tree. So let's go to the Happy Tree Diner and think about how we can prank Auntie Viv." Shifty still scowled at her.

"First you lock us in a draughty shed, then direct us to prank your damn aunt, and NOW you're telling us to wake up at a god forsaken hours of the morning and-"

"I'm paying for the food." Caramel interrupted. Shifty just stared at his twelve year old friend, before grabbing his fifteen year old brother and leaving the shed, with Lifty still laughing.

Hi there, welcome to Happy Tree Diner, may I take you order?" Giggles chirped bubbly. Apart from the three raccoons and Giggles, no one else was in here, so the Diner was pretty peaceful.

"Hi Giggles! Hmmm, I'll have my usual, and the meatiest thing you have for the boys please! "Scribbling the order in a small book, Giggles nodded and glided off on her roller skates.

"Uh, Caramel, what's 'My Usual' mean?" Asked Lifty. Caramel didn't answer, but insted pulled out a red notebook with little smiling skulls on the front.

"Okay, so who has ideas for pranks on Auntie Viv? And don't skip on the details." Lifty shot his hand up.

"OOH, OOH, PICK ME, PICK ME!" Caramel blinked.

"Uh, y-yes, Lifty." Doing a two second victory dance, Lifty then piped up.

"Okay, we cover her in ketchup, the set Flippy in the house!" Shifty punched his brother on the shoulder.

"We're not killing her, genius. How about we cook cake, with a jack in the box in it?" Caramel gently pounded her head with the notebook.

"Sigh, guys, I need real pranks. Not murder and not something a four year old does to their younger sibling." Just then, they heard the noise of roller skates, and saw Giggles moving up to them, with two large stakes and icecream Sunday that rivalled the size of Mount Everest. Showing off, she glided in between chairs, until her bow became caught on one of them. She jolted to a halt, sending the food flying. Giggles tugged herself free, but instead of the ribbon tearing, the skin on the top of her head did. Pushing herself forward, she managed to get the food to land on her tray, but she forgot she was wearing roller skates. Flying forward, she tried grabbing stuff to slow her down, which only resulted in her arms breaking and eventuall coming off, somehow she balanced to food on her head, only to finally shoot out of a window. As she screamed and started falling, her legs kicked up, and kicked the food flying once more. The steaks and icecream finally finished their journey by landing on Caramel, Lifty and Shiftys table. They stared at the window for a bit, before Giggles wobbily got up, looking dazed. She blinked several times, before smiling weakly an waving, only to then get run over by DiscoBears' car.

"Well, I think that was just a little inspirational." Shifty said. Caramel, grabbed her book and scribbled away.

"Okay, I know what we're doing today! And I have a feeling today's gonna be good, it even started out good!" The twins stared.

"How? Giggles, you friend, just died." Caramel giggled.

"Not that, look, we didn't have to pay! Now eat your damn steaks, my icecream's melting.

"I'll tall you what else is melting baby, my heart when I look at you." DiscoBear had somehow managed to arrive a their table and plonked himself next to Caramel.

"... Oh yes, you handsome thing, mine's melting too. Here, lemme melt those lips of your too." Caramels' voice was soft and innocent, just the way DiscoBear liked it. The boys stared, opened mouthed.

"Oh wait, let me just get something." Caramel reached inside her small dress pocket, before pulling out a giant crowbar and whacking DiscoBear to the other side of the room. He hit the wall, cracking his head open and spilling blood and brain matter everywhere.

"Red looks good on you, PedoBear!" Caramel slipped the crowbar back into a pocket and started nomming her icecream.

"Uh, Caramel, how did you fit a crowbar into your pocket?" Asked Lifty. Caramel give a watermelon smile.

"You'd be surprised-"

"I KNOW IT, I FIGURED IT OUT!" Lifty was now standing on the table, dancing and yelling.

"Uh, you know what exactly, Lifty?" Asked a dumbfounded Caramel.

"You're 'usual' is ICECREAM, HOW DID I NOT GET THAT?" Lifty continued his war dance of joy on the table, not noticeing that

The others had stopped listening and tucking into their food.

**My friends, I present to you, a crappy chappie! There will be more violence n the next chappie, I promise. But now I need to go to school, so see ya.**


End file.
